Decisions and Headaches..

Just when you think everything is smooth sailing, life throws a curveball at you...

Such has been our week.

We love living in Winnipeg. We also love being close to family. BUT......in the past year I have struggled with balancing "me" time, my own family time and then time with my parents. My parents live 3 minutes away. They are very respectful of our space and always call before coming over. BUT.... I have felt as though I was missing something in this area we call the "North End" Being close by has alot of perks. Babysitting at the drop of a hat. Quick walks or drives over for coffee on a lazy day. Direct access out to the highway to our cabin. Hardly any traffic or line ups (maybe because of the age demographic of 60!)

BUT....there are no kids around here. There are no young moms close by. None of our friends even think of venturing into the North End. My parents still work and love their jobs, they also travel alot more than they used to. I love that they are independent and enjoying their time together right now. The problem is that we are always a constant. We are always home, any given day you will find us here. Easy to "assume" we can do whatever anyone needs us to do. The word "no" is not in my vocabulary. When I do say "no", good intentions aside, someone ends up feeling hurt.

I threw 4 words out to Tim a few weeks ago..."I need a change". Not knowing what "change" meant, I just had an urge to do something new. Rejuvenate my life. Find that spark again. Maybe it's because we both work full time from home and are in the house all day. We want more space. We want "newer" space. We keep dumping money into this 25 year old house which we will never see again.

And then an offer comes along....

A 4 bedroom home in a beautiful area of Winnipeg, one of the nicest streets in the city and more house than we could imagine. A friend offered a quick sale as he has been transferred to Calgary and just wants to help us out. Him and his wife did IVF which resulted in 3 kids, and they know the emotional and financial sacrifice involved. He just wants to pay it forward and sell the house for what he paid......rock bottom price for that area. Winnipeg is friendly like that, there are people who are not only interested in making a quick buck.

We laughed at first and then thought about it? How can we pass this up? It has everything we want, is move in ready, Cole will start kindergarden in that area and I will be far enough from delivering the twins that a move is possible! The drive to the North End would be 30 minutes on a traffic light free route.

So I dropped the bomb a few days ago and to put it lightly....it was not accepted with open arms. Why would we do this with twins on the way? We will need alot of help. Cole will be so far from his grandparents. Can we afford to do this? All very good, valid points. BUT no one was really listening to me.

So, as Tim and I sit here, weighing the pros and cons, I have a massive headache.. I flop between sheer excitement at the thought of this amazing opportunity and true guilt for wanting to leave the area I grew up in and moved back to 3 years ago. Is this a selfish decision? Should I live my life based on someone else's hopes and dreams? Will I manage with twins with help 30 minutes away instead of 3 minutes away? Will I miss the quiet nature of this area? Am I searching for something that I "think" I want? Am I running away because I am tired of the expectations that have been placed on us? Will I regret this is 5 years?

We decide tomorrow. I am in for a long night.