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When I found out I was having twins, I signed up for a multiples society. Everyone said I HAD to register with this particular society...so I agreed....I really only wanted the coupons and first dibs on any "sales" of 2nd hand gear.
Then I started getting newsletters, invites on facebook for "multiples" outings, support group info etc..
Not my cup of tea. Just because I have 2 at once does not mean I need to surround them with another 100 sets of multiples. Maybe because they are fraternal and look nothing alike, I truly see them as individuals, separate personalities, and I rarely ever dress them the same. I had twins, I did not give birth to something that requires a "society".
So I wonder, do many twin parents find comfort in these groups. Are many of them first time parents? I never had anyone suggest I become a member of a first time parent society? If ever I needed a support group it would have been with baby #1. If ever I needed outings, connection with other moms, it would have been when I only had one child that I could easily tote around.
Then a few weeks ago we were stopped, and a lady asked Tim if he was a "multiple" dad. I stood back and observed as I'm usually the one being stopped, this was all new for Tim.
Tim looked at her confused??? She pointed to the twins....A "multiple" dad!!! I'm a twin mom she said...grinning ear to ear....and then she waited....like she was waiting for fireworks to begin.....for a jumping and hugging fest? Whatever she was waiting for...she was not getting it from Tim.
Uh, yeah they're twins..and he (pointing to Cole) is 5...why?
The poor woman looked as though we had burst her twin bubble...
And this is why we are not renewing our membership to the multiples society....we are a family with 3 kids, 2 of which happen to share a birthday. I'd like to think that I was simply lucky enough to have 3 kids with only 2 pregnancies. We get stopped enough, pointed to enough, and whispered about enough in public....it doesn't phase us...stare away...
I just wanted to be a mom again, and Tim just wanted to be a dad again, joining the multiples society only labels us...
Label us simply....a family
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wow, interesting take on this. i would've thought you would've totally connected with this woman!! but i see what you mean, you just want to be a mom.
ReplyDeleteI love this take on things! And Tim's reaction was awesome...so non-chalant, like lady, what up?
ReplyDelete:)
well put!
ReplyDeletei have no idea what's next with the sewing... but it's seriously not hard. i'm going to be running a weekly "amateur night" for ppl who think they CAN'T sew (like you) and try to make something simple!!
ReplyDeleteinteresting. i had no idea it was such a big thing. one thing i have considered doing is trying to sign up for the local mother's of multiples emails so that i can find out what local play spots I should avoid each week. not that i have anything against the group... I just prefer to find the undercrowded play places! lol.
ReplyDeleteOh Cheryl, we feel EXACTLY the same way! We never signed up with them from the start. Even though my boys are identical, I still feel like they are two seperate people, and I don't feel the need to be around only twin families. We have enough support, and it's not just from people who have twins. We have great support from people who only had one baby at a time, and that is awesome! I never like the idea of belonging to a twin group, Pete absolutely refused to be part of it!
ReplyDeleteAgreed, a group would have been more helpful with the first baby! Yes, the twins are 2 seperate individuals and should be treated as such. Love the label....family!
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure that if I'd have twins instead of my only daughter I'd have needed a major support system. But I could have used more support with the one baby as well.
ReplyDelete