365 Days Later

This was me just about a year ago..We were celebrating Cole's 5th birthday, knowing I was about at the end of my "pregnancy" rope...what you don't see is the extreme pain on my face from the pressure in my groin as the twins were both head down..and more then 6 pounds each....

I started this blog as a way to journal my infertility and IVF attempt. I was tired of everyone asking the same questions and I was tired of not having any answers. All I knew was that after Cole I stopped ovulating..nothing seemed to restart the cycle. Anger, frustration and sadness were part of my life.And then...we got these two...the only two that survived...how cute are they!!A week after implantation I felt different...things felt off...I remember laying on the table at the clinic and the doctor placing the ultrasound wand to my belly. I couldn't look, I was scared of seeing nothing....but nothing prepared Tim and I for this sight..
and after 37 weeks of carrying those embroys, watching them grow, feeling them move inside my belly, on this day, one year ago, Luke and Kyle arrived into this world.
We left the house as a family of 3 and came home as a family of 5. Sure there have been struggles along the way, sleepless nights, endless days of crying and whining...but Tim and I seem to manage through anything..supporting eachother and recognizing that some days are just tougher then others. Noone said twins was easy and they were right. Twins is double the work...but double the fun too...

As we struggle this week through a case of the croup for both twins, we will celebrate the big day on the weekend with family and close friends...double the cake and double the mess!

Kyle took his first steps yesterday and Luke is finally skootching around to keep up with little brother. The best part of the day is when I lay down on the floor and they crawl all over me, fighting for my attention, wanting to be close to mommy...will I always be so special in their eyes?

I stop and stare at them at least 20 times a day. They fascinate me. They. Are. Mine.
Wow.

Thank you...thank you...thank you..


Happy 1st birthday my boys...you are everything daddy and I had hoped for...and more.