Marriage Therapy? Really?

I think Tim and I have a darn good marriage. We truly enjoy one another, make major decisions together, finish each others sentences and agree on “most” things. His relaxed nature balances out my neurotic tendencies.

So when I received a phone call from a Marriage & Family Therapist, I almost hung up…..she surely must have the wrong couple!!!

A quick read through the material presented at IVF info night clarified everything. We were required to have a one hour counseling session with the therapist in order to proceed with IVF. MANDATORY for all couples. Phew, I thought that maybe based on our behavior at info night, we had been chosen for additional “therapy”

3 weeks ago, the appointment arrived and Tim and I agreed that we should make it as quick as possible. Answer the basics and get out- this was his plan of attack. After nine years of marriage my husband should know that given the chance….and with a Starbucks coffee in hand, candles burning and a comfy couch….I can talk for hours!

I should also know that after nine years of marriage my husband would want to know why he must endure a 3rd party induced counseling session. His first question as we sat down was directed to the therapist and went like this:

“What are you hoping to get out of this session with us?”

I told you he makes me laugh……the therapist was polite, but she was not laughing…

Once Tim was satisfied with her answer we got into the nitty gritty…

• Do you have major stresses in your life and do you have a plan in place to manage them during this process?


• Have you thought about the outcome - good or bad?


• Have you talked to Cole about the process


• How do you communicate with each other, how do you resolve issues?


• Do you have a support group (family, friends, church)


• Do you have any addictive tendencies…. During stressful times people often compensate in other areas such as drinking…gambling….shopping…exercise

So far so good, I think we have positioned ourselves well, no major “ah ha” moments as Oprah calls it. The therapist let us read her notes and once we signed off that she had “interpreted” us correctly, we were given the stamp of approval!

Later that evening, after Cole was in bed and Tim and I were relaxing, I began to wonder if my reaction to the session would have been different if we did not have Cole. If I was sitting on that couch struggling with primary infertility would I be as calm about the outcome? I have said before that I always thought I would have 3 or 4 kids……..

And as though Tim was reading my mind…..he leaned over and whispered…

“Just so you know, I’m 100% ok if Cole is our one and only, we are blessed to have him”

Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, no marriage counseling needed here……

My Life as a Pincushion....Part 1

“Cheryl, we have scheduled the injection training session for Feb 10th.”

Excuse me? I need training? What on earth will I be doing that requires a full hour of training?

Can we say NAÏVE!

How did I expect the drugs to get into my system?? Slow release pill form? Or how about powder scooped into one of the protein shakes I drink daily…. let’s just blend it in there!

Ever since Cole was misdiagnosed with a thyroid issue when he was 5 weeks, I have steered away from using the internet for any medical type research. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE the “net” but a cough can be cancer and not just a cold if you’re not careful! So I didn’t do any research on the actual preparation for invitro……I know…..me, type A extraordinaire!!! Can you imagine?

Training day arrived and I was surprisingly calm. Maybe it was the yummy coffee in hand, the WinterPeg sun was finally shining…..or maybe Tim was distracting me by being his funny self. Whatever it was, the feeling quickly subsided once the nurse brought in all the viles and pens of medication and then….the syringes and needles.

I could feel the sweat starting to build, my nurse must have sensed it too as she asked me if I was sweating??? Was it THAT obvious????

I was told to start 50units of Suprefact on Feb 16th, one injection per day, between 4-8pm. Per the medical dictionary, Suprefact is “A long-acting gonadotropin-releasing hormone analogue which downregulates the pituitary-gonadal axis”

In everyday terms….it suppresses my ovarian function…..umm yeah, is that not my issue in the first place?? I now have to inject needles daily to make my lazy ovaries even lazier!

As I comforted myself in knowing I had 6 days to get used to the idea, the nurse politely dropped the Do-It-Yourself bomb…I had to do a “test” injection, right here in the meeting room, right now……not the kind of thing you spring on a gal like me…..

The process goes like this:

1. Swab the top of the vile with rubbing alcohol
2. Stick needle into the vile and draw 50 units
3. Swab area of skin on the belly….pinch an inch
4. Hold the syringe like you’re at the pub throwing darts (I kid you not that is the analogy she used!)
5. Hold at 90 degree angle, jab it into the stomach and release the meds.

I am generaly not a procrastinator so .......Breathe….3…2….1………jam!! Tim’s jaw dropped to the floor. I DID IT!!

While I am not running out to the university to register for nursing or med school, I felt proud of myself. Daily injections are just another step towards the end goal.

But was I ready for my belly to become a pincushion?


11 days later and I have to say my life as a pincushion has not been the most pleasant. I get a bit ancy at 5:55pm, just before I head upstairs to do the "deed". I have also discovered there are minimal places remaining on my stomach that I can stick a needle into... I bruise too quickly and sticking a needle through a bruise hurts......who knew??

So I have been alternating sides, to the right of the belly button, to the left and various places below. When I looked at my belly in the mirror today, an odd, yet familiar pattern appeared.....it kind of looks like this...



And again.....I smiled...

GREAT NEWS!

Today was a day full of optimistic news!!! Let me share…..

I have been injecting medication into my stomach (I will post on the injection process later this week) for over a week now and today I had to get some blood work as well as an ultrasound done at the clinic. At this stage appointments mean progress ......so no complaints here!

The results would tell me if I could proceed with round 2 of injections which will hopefully lead to egg retrieval in 8-13 days.

It’s first come first serve at the clinic….doors open at 8am, kind of like a boxing day sale! I arrived at 7:55am and sure enough I was 6th in line, dang…… some girls are anxious to get poked and prodded!

The blood work was ok…, having endured a monthly needle in my right arm for a year now, it was no big deal. I find myself more interested now in how the nurses slide the needle in, and which way pinches more...... anyways,

The ultrasound…..soooooooo NOT ok. First of all, the ultrasounds are all done internally, not like a pregnancy ultrasound. This means technique is critical! Second of all, I did not have my cute friendly doctor by my side. I had never met this one before so the banter was not as comfortable. I know they have done this thousands of times but in my life, I do not get ultrasounds done on a regular basis!

The entire time I am wincing in pain as he tries to “locate” my left ovary.
“come out come out wherever you are…..” were his words, as though my ovary was intentionally playing hide and go seek. How old am I…...4?

Dig dig dig as he tried to get around my uterus in search of the missing lefty….by now I am sweating and wishing I could grab that ultrasound wand and throw it against the wall! Did he not hear my whimpering? (I would have acted like my 4 year old and tattled on him for being so rough, had he not been the FOUNDER of this clinic!)

And then he laughed, “Ah ha! There it is….sleeping away. Just as we like them to do at this stage” And then he left the room, no hand out to help me sit up, no smile…….poof, he was off to the next patient.

So I paid my $5,400 for the next stage of this process and I left with a promise from the nurse that she would phone me in the afternoon with my results

Results came in and....... I AM ALL SET TO GO TO STAGE 2!

Tim, Cole and I took off for Shoppers Drug Mart to get the meds for the next 6 days and the bargain gods were looking down on me today…….

Part of the drugs were free, thanks to a Smartcard the pharmacy uses (I did not question it!) And then I got a free "300ml pen" of medication, which means 2 shots worth for me ($300)….thanks to some program the pharmaceutical companies JUST starting running for first time invitro patients.

I will take a deal whenever I can….even if it’s in the form of drugs!

So......

Total cost for today? $6,400
Total cost for my optimism?……


Priceless