Remember I made a mental note to ask the doctor whether patients brought their kids to appointments? Well I got my answer from the nurse the other day
Bringing Cole to any appointments was not the “best idea” It’s a sensitivity issue” she said politely. I fully get that now, I just needed a polite smack to knock out any selfishness I was experiencing. I take for granted that I have secondary infertility but there are many many couples with primary infertility who do NOT want to see the prize within an arms length reach.
This brings me to the whole “sensitivity” issue. I cannot count the number of times in my life where people have told me to stop being sooooooo sensitive. I care about people, what they are going through and how my actions may affect their lives…..so I expect the same behavior in return.
Unfortunately life does not seem to work that way and I am learning to manage it. But I wonder…..does infertility make a sensitive person overly-sensitive or are people out there really THAT insensitive?
Example: I was at a baby shower a year ago with Cole. While I was mingling and Cole was playing with the other kids in the room, a lady came up to me and asked if Cole was my only one. I said yes…and with a look of shock on her face she continued with “Do you not want anymore kids?”
Example 2: Comments such as “Cole does not “share” because he doesn’t have any siblings” or “ Just stop thinking about it and you’ll get pregnant”
Example 3: After hosting a wake for a family members death at my home, an extended family member from out of town decided to give her condolences and say thank you in the following way: “It sure would have been nice to have come to see a baby instead……”
How does one answer such a comment? I answered it like this….
Is coming to see Cole not enough? Besides the fact that it was a WAKE!!! And then I kindly showed her the door and have refused any more of her visits.
So my question is this…
Am I being too sensitive? Is the pressure I have placed on myself to have more children translating into misinterpreting potentially innocent comments?........