Thursday, March 4, 2010

Out of sorts

Feelin a bit out of sorts this week...

I'm flyin solo for 2 days...and while the twins are sleeping/napping great, I am spoiled having Tim work from home..I fully realize don't have to remind me (as many people do!)

My neck is kinked from all the feedings, carrying car seats, laundry, housework, blah blah..poor me..a kinky neck does not slow me down, it just means more Advil! It does put me in a bad mood, I like operating on a full tank you know..

Cole seems to be "bored" in the afternoons which makes me think I'm not playing with him enough..he's too polite to tell me that BUT he did get a bit too excited when a friends mom offered to drive him to school today....I need to muster up the energy for a light sabre battle or a round of monopoly today

But all this complaining pales in comparison to my aunt's daily battle to live. She is not doing all...the cancer is in her bones, mostly her spine and she is quickly deteriorating. The mastectomy removed the tumors in her breast, but it had already spread. There is no treatment...only pain control. I keep trying to plan a visit with her but she says she's just too tired...I miss her laughter...there is only sadness in her voice. My 78 year old uncle is trying his best to care for her but he too is scared. Every phone call I get seems to bring more bad news. This morning was no different, she is in emergency today.

I sit here hoping this is a bad dream, that quality of life will remain forever. I want to freeze my kids, my health, my body, my marriage, my family just as they are RIGHT NOW.

My mom said to me a few weeks ago that I was in the BEST YEARS of my life.......I would agree...but I want my entire life to be my BEST LIFE.

We only get one chance at it.

Make it count.


  1. Cheryl, you are so right. Make this life count! I need to be reminded of that every day. I am sorry about your aunt and that you are having a tough two days. TGITWS (thank goodness it's the weekend soon) -P

  2. Despite the sadness in the situation, this is an uplifting post. I often times worry about the future-- but I need to seize the day and make the most of life NOW!

    Confessions From A Working Mom

  3. So sorry to hear about your Aunt's health. You are right, we need to enjoy these "best" years of our life. Sometimes I wonder though, with all the craziness of having little kids around all day! However, we have our health today, and that's all that matters. Don't sweat the small stuff!

    Caleb gets bored like Cole too. He wants to paint and draw and play with me when the other 2 nap but I'm just too dang tired! I feel bad for him, but mommy needs a break!

  4. I am so sorry to hear about your Aunt. I feel for her and your Uncle. Even though she says she is tired, maybe a short visit from you would lift her spirits. I wonder if they might be able to offer her radiation treatments to help with the pain. Patients I have given radiation treatments to have had some very good pain relief. I am sure the Drs will take good care of her.

    It is unfortunate that it takes things like this in our lives to make us appreciate our own lives. When things are going smoothly for us and everything seems to be fitting into place we often forget to count our blessings at that time. Sometimes it takes tragedy to make us be grateful for these "best" years. I know I need to stop more often and appreciate all the blessings I have in my life.

  5. First of all, I love the new look over here! You are blog savvy!

    I agree 100%. We have to make it count. But sometimes I get so confused about what the right thing to do is along those lines - do I train to be an instructor or do I make sure I am here for my boys?!!

    Candace and I were talking about cancer today. It will touch us or someone very close to us and I try to enjoy each day before that happens. All I know, is right now, life it good and I am going to soak every second of it up.

  6. Praying for your aunt and all your family.

  7. Thanks for the reminder, we all need those every now and then. I am sorry to hear your aunt is not doing well.