Feelin a bit out of sorts this week...
I'm flyin solo for 2 days...and while the twins are sleeping/napping great, I am spoiled having Tim work from home..I fully realize that...you don't have to remind me (as many people do!)
My neck is kinked from all the feedings, carrying car seats, laundry, housework, blah blah..poor me..a kinky neck does not slow me down, it just means more Advil! It does put me in a bad mood, I like operating on a full tank you know..
Cole seems to be "bored" in the afternoons which makes me think I'm not playing with him enough..he's too polite to tell me that BUT he did get a bit too excited when a friends mom offered to drive him to school today....I need to muster up the energy for a light sabre battle or a round of monopoly today
But all this complaining pales in comparison to my aunt's daily battle to live. She is not doing well...at all...the cancer is in her bones, mostly her spine and she is quickly deteriorating. The mastectomy removed the tumors in her breast, but it had already spread. There is no treatment...only pain control. I keep trying to plan a visit with her but she says she's just too tired...I miss her laughter...there is only sadness in her voice. My 78 year old uncle is trying his best to care for her but he too is scared. Every phone call I get seems to bring more bad news. This morning was no different, she is in emergency today.
I sit here hoping this is a bad dream, that quality of life will remain forever. I want to freeze my kids, my health, my body, my marriage, my family just as they are RIGHT NOW.
My mom said to me a few weeks ago that I was in the BEST YEARS of my life.......I would agree...but I want my entire life to be my BEST LIFE.
We only get one chance at it.
Make it count.