Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Decisions and Headaches..

Just when you think everything is smooth sailing, life throws a curveball at you...

Such has been our week.

We love living in Winnipeg. We also love being close to family. BUT......in the past year I have struggled with balancing "me" time, my own family time and then time with my parents. My parents live 3 minutes away. They are very respectful of our space and always call before coming over. BUT.... I have felt as though I was missing something in this area we call the "North End" Being close by has alot of perks. Babysitting at the drop of a hat. Quick walks or drives over for coffee on a lazy day. Direct access out to the highway to our cabin. Hardly any traffic or line ups (maybe because of the age demographic of 60!)

BUT....there are no kids around here. There are no young moms close by. None of our friends even think of venturing into the North End. My parents still work and love their jobs, they also travel alot more than they used to. I love that they are independent and enjoying their time together right now. The problem is that we are always a constant. We are always home, any given day you will find us here. Easy to "assume" we can do whatever anyone needs us to do. The word "no" is not in my vocabulary. When I do say "no", good intentions aside, someone ends up feeling hurt.

I threw 4 words out to Tim a few weeks ago..."I need a change". Not knowing what "change" meant, I just had an urge to do something new. Rejuvenate my life. Find that spark again. Maybe it's because we both work full time from home and are in the house all day. We want more space. We want "newer" space. We keep dumping money into this 25 year old house which we will never see again.

And then an offer comes along....

A 4 bedroom home in a beautiful area of Winnipeg, one of the nicest streets in the city and more house than we could imagine. A friend offered a quick sale as he has been transferred to Calgary and just wants to help us out. Him and his wife did IVF which resulted in 3 kids, and they know the emotional and financial sacrifice involved. He just wants to pay it forward and sell the house for what he paid......rock bottom price for that area. Winnipeg is friendly like that, there are people who are not only interested in making a quick buck.

We laughed at first and then thought about it? How can we pass this up? It has everything we want, is move in ready, Cole will start kindergarden in that area and I will be far enough from delivering the twins that a move is possible! The drive to the North End would be 30 minutes on a traffic light free route.

So I dropped the bomb a few days ago and to put it lightly....it was not accepted with open arms. Why would we do this with twins on the way? We will need alot of help. Cole will be so far from his grandparents. Can we afford to do this? All very good, valid points. BUT no one was really listening to me.

So, as Tim and I sit here, weighing the pros and cons, I have a massive headache.. I flop between sheer excitement at the thought of this amazing opportunity and true guilt for wanting to leave the area I grew up in and moved back to 3 years ago. Is this a selfish decision? Should I live my life based on someone else's hopes and dreams? Will I manage with twins with help 30 minutes away instead of 3 minutes away? Will I miss the quiet nature of this area? Am I searching for something that I "think" I want? Am I running away because I am tired of the expectations that have been placed on us? Will I regret this is 5 years?

We decide tomorrow. I am in for a long night.


  1. oh Cheryl, I feel for you, that is a huge decision but ultimately, it has to be what you and Tim feel is best...for you and Tim. 3 min or 30 min, if you need help, it will be there. And really, ultimately, you need your space and the opportunity to handle things on your own.

    I am of the opinion that big decisions, when weighed carefully and made with your heart, are never regrets.

    Good luck my friend, I am thinking of you guys!

  2. Hello Cheryl,

    I have been following your blog ever since I saw it on my cousin Jen's. I can understand what you are going through making such a big decision like this, especially when you are carrying your two little sweeties.

    My husband and I moved to the little town of Lorette a couple of years ago from Winnipeg. The street we lived on before didn't really have any young kids on it either. It was a beautiful neighbourhood, but we wanted a change as well. The area we live in now is FULL of kids and my oldest (who is 10) can ride her bike to her friends and play with her friends in the park behind our house. I have to say that I love living in a community with young familes. Our daughter also loves living so close to her friends.

    Before we moved to Winnipeg we lived in Ontario, just a block away from my in-laws. We had babysitting at our fingertips, then we moved to Winnipeg and that was gone. In the beginning it was a little difficult, but then we adjusted. Just thought I would tell you about our experience in case it helps.

    Good luck to you and Tim on your decision.

  3. That is a tough decision! What you really need to think about is the next 10 years. You need to look at the big picture.
    It is sure great being close to your parents! However, you have to think about raising your kids and what is best for you and your family in the future. A bigger house and better neighborhood are things you probably want in the next 10 years. Once the twins come you could always get a part-time nanny. And I'm sure once those beautiful babies arrive your parents won't mind the drive at all!
    Best of luck on your decision. I'm sure what ever you decide will be the right one!

  4. Cheryl, as a Nana I agree with all the points your parents made BUT it's your life and you should do whatever you and Tim feel is best for your family. I love having Jennifer so close by but even if I had to drive 30 minutes or more it wouldn't matter as I'd drive to Timbuctu to see those sweeties!!! Don't stress, take a deep breath. Everything will work out just fine. God bless. Love to you and Tim and Cole.xoxox

  5. Thank you everyone, great advice. Joey you are so right. My parents, while they may have to pack a snack for the car ride, insist they will come help and visit and sunday dinners will alternate now between us and them.
    I can only hope to be as great a grandparent one day and you and my mom are.
    Take care!