The day we've been longing for for so long is now staring us right in the face. The hospital will call me tomorrow to say "come on down". I am hoping it's after Cole comes home from school...would make life easier...but maybe that's a bit much to ask.
I talked to some friends today, one in particular really stays with me. My good friend who went through IVF with me...I was successful and she was not...I long for her to be pregnant and experience all of the joys of motherhood. I truly admire her sincerity and continuous love and support for me throughout my pregnancy. I told her it was ok to be mad, upset, whatever she needed to feel because I know she is truly happy for Tim and I. When we were trying for so many years for another baby and many friends were on their 2nd and 3rd pregnancies, I remember the love and jealousy I often felt. It's natural to WANT, to YEARN....
I thought about our IVF journey and how it feels like it was just yesterday. The needles, the ultrasounds, the highs and lows of how many eggs are viable. It was overwhelming and it created a newfound respect for anyone who must endure that process more than once. Modern medicine has come so far, yet it still has a ways to go.....infertility should be treatable.
I thought about the ultrasound at 7 weeks that showed 2 sacs...and then finding out we were having twin boys. I remember being so scared of bed rest or early labour....none of which thankfully came to light. I watched my belly move today and felt sad that this stage of my life (the child rearing stage) is likely ending tomorrow.
Are we scared? Heck yes...giving birth to one child was tough and now I will push 2 babies out? It's been pretty quiet around the house today as Tim and I both stare at each other and wonder how the day will go.
I remember our family of 3 as it is right now...close, fun, committed to eachother....and I look so forward to our family of 5...
Thank you to everyone who has shared this journey with me. I truly appreciate each and every one of you.
Get some rest for me tonight..